Does No Count?
Last night, during my darkest moment, I was praying the rosary. It was the sorrowful mysteries. We were going over the Agony in the Garden, where Christ said to God, "Not my will, but yours be done." Whose will was I seeking - God's, or mine?
I realized that I was depressed because God hadn't answered me - the way I wanted Him to answer! God had answered me. The answer was no, or more accurately - not yet.
Surrendering My Will to God'sI knew I had found the answer to my depression, to finding the peace that I was seeking but that had eluded me until then. It was time to praise God that my prayers were not answered as I requested.
Gratitude for the Answer
Who knows what good the Lord has done for me by denying my request? Who knows what trouble He has preserved me from that I might unwittingly have stumbled into if the Lord had done as I requested? The Lord might very well have been standing guard over me to protect me from dangers unseen in denying my request. Perhaps I was not ready for those things I was asking to receive, and He was preparing me so that when I received the opportunities, I would not squander them.
Repenting for Ingratitude
This led me to wonder just how often God, in His mercy, protects us from the errors that we, in our human limitations, might make and yet, instead of receiving thanks, receives grumbling and complaining. One day, I know I will see clearly just what He has saved me from and the damage it would have done if I had been allowed to go the direction I was trying to head, and on that day I will weep for the way that I treated the One who has worked the hardest and done the most to love me.
God Desires Only Our Good
If God has answered "not now" or even a firm and resounding "no", it is solely for my good. God hates telling me no, because He knows it hurts me, but He loves me enough to be brave enough to risk my anger and my complaints and my grumbling in order to do what is best for me. If I have received a "no" or a "not now", it is only because I am not ready or the thing I am asking for would not be truly beneficial to me.
If you pray and you do not receive what you ask today, thank God! Either you aren't ready to receive what you've asked to receive, or what you are asking for would not be truly beneficial to you and He wants something better for you instead. Either way, thank God! And remember, our Father knows best.