Thursday, April 21, 2011

Remembering

Today is Holy Thursday, a day to remember Christ's final gift to those who follow Him: the Holy Eucharist. For Catholics, this is not merely a symbolic thing. We truly believe that Jesus Christ is present in the form of bread and wine. It's an astonishing act of humility - even more so than assuming the form of a tiny embryo in the womb of a girl or allowing Himself to be crucified on a cross.  He presents himself in total submission to us, trusting us to care for Him, not to drop Him or throw Him away or to pass Him by as if He were nothing.  He allows us to consume Him so that He may consume us from the inside out, becoming one with us as we become one with Him.

Every year at the conclusion of Holy Thursday's service there is adoration offered as we remember Christ's agony in the Garden and His humble request of His beloved disciples to stay with Him for one hour.  Our family chose to stay.  It's been a long time since I've spent any time in adoration, I'm sorry to say.  As the hour drew to a close I felt peace wash over me, a peace I haven't felt in a long time but used to carry all the time when adoration was something I did regularly.  That feeling reminded me in a very real way of how much I have been neglecting my relationship with God, and how very much my soul has hungered for the closeness I once shared with Him.

I have still loved God, but knew that I did not love Him enough.  I did not love Him enough to make the sacrifices I would need to make to be with Him, I did not love Him enough to make and keep an appointment with Him, and I did not love Him enough to be attentive to His will.  Tonight, I felt Him tugging at my heart and reminding me of His love for me, His desire for my presence, and a call to return to my earlier faithfulness.

Remembering is an important part of relationships, whether that relationship is with a person or with God.  We must continually remind ourselves of why we are in the relationship to begin with, remember what it is that made us first fall in love in order to renew that love.  It's normal to go through periods where we are not as enamored of our loved one as we were at first, but this is the time when it becomes more important than ever to seek to rekindle the original flames.  Our Heavenly Father knows this, and so He sets aside times for us to reflect and to remember the goodness of God.  

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