Tuesday, May 3, 2011

It's In God's Hands

Yesterday, my husband got fired from his job without warning. This gives us about two weeks to find a source of income to replace his so that we can still make rent next month. I am grateful for the decisions we've made to use our money more wisely by paying rent and bills on time and purchasing long-term food storage. This means that while things will be hard, they won't be as hard as they might have been otherwise.

There is a part of me that is frightened by this. I fear not being able to find a job in time, being hungry and homeless, having to move and say goodbye to the people I've just started getting to know. This part of me is tired of instability, tired of the roller coaster ride that has been our life for almost a year and a half now. This part of me wants security and stability here on earth, and loves the comfort that comes from predictability.

Fortunately, there is another part of me. This part of me knows that all things work for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. This part of me knows that while my body may love what is comfortable and easy, my soul grows closest to Him when things are hardest. This part of me understands that there is no Heaven without the cross, and while the cross may not be fun to bear it is the only bridge strong enough to get me there. This part of me is reminded that serving God is more important than anything else, even more important than having a roof over my head or food in my belly.

As I was coming home from my mother's group, a song from my preschool years came to mind. It's a little ditty called "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands". I sang it as I walked home just to remind myself that ultimately our lives and our futures rest in God's hands. I felt better afterward. This doesn't mean that I won't be conducting job searches, filling out resumes and employment applications. God expects me to partner with Him as we work together to solve the problem. It does mean, though, that I need to trust that God will present the right opportunities to us at the right time and that He's got it all under control. After all, if He's got the whole world in His hands, my problems are in there, too.

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