Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Letter to God

Today, I wrote a letter to God. I do this frequently, but I think this one was particularly inspired by the Holy Spirit so I will share it with you in the hopes that it might inspire you to write one of your own.

Dear God,

Today, I am bringing to you everything. Every hope, every dream, every desire, every problem, every fear, every worry, every want, every need and every moment of today. I am entrusting it all into your care and your capable hands. I am asking you to take these things from me and to fill me instead with your will. Replace them with your hopes, your dreams, your desires, your needs, and your wants. Conform me so closely to you that there is nothing left of me, only you.

I want to go visit my grandmother. I want my son and my husband to love one another. I want my son and my husband to love you more than I love you. I want my husband to succeed not just in his business but in his relationships. I want my husband to learn to love you so much that he has no more doubts about your love for him. I want my mother to succeed. I want her to know that she has no need to be afraid. I want to break my addiction to money. I want to break my addiction to being comfortable. I want to be able to accept your cross with humble gratitude. I want to walk with you. I want my family to put you first in our lives and have the courage to leave our home and go out to spread your word to the world. I want to hunger for you more than I hunger for food, to thirst for souls more than I thirst for drink. I want to be faithful to you, and to consider you as more important to me than anything else in my life.

I fear being homeless. I fear losing everything. I fear disappointing my son. I fear losing the respect of others. I fear being viewed as worthless. I fear being forgettable, and I fear being forgotten. I fear that I will become successful in worldly things and will forget the One who made those successes possible. I fear becoming selfish and forgetting all that I have learned about how to love. I fear that our family will go astray and will lose sight of you. I fear that my husband will lose the faith that he has, and that he will allow his spiritual muscles to atrophy. I fear that my son will lose his faith. I fear that our family will never reach a place where we do not worry but have total trust in you. I fear that there will never be peace in my family.

I dream of owning a home, and of the security that home represents. I dream of being out of debt, and owing nothing to anyone except the love of Christ. I dream of not having to ask for handouts all the time but being able to give hand ups to anyone in need. I dream of being the person people turn to when they are in need of help. I dream of being able to give without counting the cost. I dream of having people respect and admire me. I dream of being famous. I dream of being rich, comfortable, and powerful. I dream of being able to buy what I want without thinking about it. I dream of being happy all the time and never having to worry again.

I do not know, Lord, what you have in mind for me. I do not know what you have in mind for our family. I do know that whatever it is you have in mind is so much greater than what I have in mind. I do know that the joy you have to offer is greater than any momentary happiness the things of the world might bring. I know this, because I know the plans you have in mind for me are plans for my good, plans for my prosperity, plans which will allow your light to shine through me so that all the world will know your glory.

As I said earlier, God, I am giving you these hopes, these dreams, these fears, these needs, and these wants and I am entrusting them into your care. I know that not all of them are worthy of you, so I ask you to fill me instead with your own hopes, your own dreams, your own desires, your own needs so that I may bring those things with me to the world. I place all of my confidence and hopes in you.

I thank you, God. I asked for the cross and you have given it to me. I knew it would be hard to carry, that I would not always like its weight. I recognize it, though, and I recognize my need for it. I know it is the only way to reach you. Lord, I ask for the strength to bear it well and to adore it.

Love, your daughter in Christ,

Brandy M. Miller

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