Tuesday, July 19, 2011

It's been too long

It's been about 5 days since I last posted anything, and that's really too long. Each day in my life things change, new opportunities come and go, and I am given new chances to praise the Lord that makes it all possible.  I have started a new job at the same time I have increased the time I've spent praying, and this has made finding the time to write more difficult.

I will say that I finished my St. Joseph novena. Our family has prayed together each day since the 14th. My son and husband have attended daily Mass even though I wasn't there to remind them whenever it was available since the 14th. Last Friday night, Randy went with me to Karaoke night at the Gold Country bar, right next to the restaurant where I work. To my delight and surprise, he even got up and sang in front of everyone.  We enjoyed ourselves a great deal, and I felt very close to him.

We got home, and I needed to head to bed but he wasn't really ready yet. I was hurt, as I wanted to continue that close feeling I'd shared with him. I didn't want to be alone. We ended up getting into a disagreement during which I said some very uncharitable things to him. Then, I was too mad and too hurt to sleep.  He handed me a letter explaining to me why it was that he wanted, and needed, the time alone.  He told me that in reflecting on where he had gone wrong in his faith walk, he realized he hadn't been spending much time alone praying with God. He explained that he used the time when Eddie and I were sleeping to focus on God and to just talk to Him.   He also told me that while I had been working, he had spent time talking to Eddie about Eddie's faith, finding out what our son's thoughts on the faith were and where his relationship with Christ was headed. In other words, my husband was taking steps to become the spiritual leader that I was praying for him to become.

My own faith has grown. That I managed to complete the novena is progress. Usually, I'm good at starting them and terrible about finishing them.  I often make resolutions to be a better steward of God's gifts to me, but then when temptation rears its head I succumb and end up full of regrets with very little to show for it. This time, though, I was able to do better than that. I know I gave God the best portion of myself, offering up my work in prayer and when things were slow at work taking advantage of the time to pray the rosary.  My St. Joseph novena ended yesterday, but the fruits are already beginning to show in my life. I think I may do a second novena, this time in thanksgiving to Saint Joseph for his intercession.

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