Saturday, December 8, 2012

God Changes Everything

When I was 13, I dreamed of being so rich I never had to worry about food or where I was going to live ever again. At 37, I know that I don't have to worry about food or where I am going to live ever again. I have God, and He will take care of things for me.  He has plenty of times before this one.

When I was 13, I dreamed of owning a very big house so I could have my four children, their spouses, and their children, all living with me.  I didn't have four children, but that's how many I wanted. At 37, I have four children, but only one that I gave birth to.  My other three came to me as homeless kids in need.  I don't have a big house, I have a small two bedroom apartment, but God has shown me I don't need a big house to help others, just a big heart and a willingness to trust in His providence.

When I was 13, I dreamed of having a large garage with several cars in it.  I wanted to be like everyone else. I wanted to be independent, and never have to rely on others for help.  At 37, our family has only one vehicle. I don't have a driver's license and  never got one.  I must rely on my husband or others for help.  I walk plenty of places, and this has kept me healthier than some. God allowed this so that I could learn to be humble and to ask for help when I need it, and so that I would be motivated to stay healthy.

When I was 13, I imagined that I would get a college degree before I got married and had children. I imagined that I would work while my children were growing up, because that's what I thought women were supposed to do.  I got my Associate's long after my son was born, and discovered that being a working mother isn't nearly as wonderful a thing as everyone told me it would be.  It often means missing out on the most important moments of  your child's life, stealing time and memories that you cannot get back.  God changed my plans, and showed me that money is not as valuable as time and memories.

When I was 13, I wanted to be like everyone else. At 37, I understand that I was specifically made to stand out from the crowd.  I was not meant to blend in, I was meant to be noticed so that others who need to find God can find me first.

In all of these things, God has changed my plans and changed everything else with it.  Nothing is as I expected it to be, but everything is as it needs to be, and I am grateful.

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